CW’s mom is in town.
Last night, CW brought Kent to mom’s place and I was told that Kent miss Mom so much and CW have tough time to bring him back home. So, we decided to bring Kent to Mom’s place early in the morning before we went for our excursion.
Well, for those reader who do know us well enough, in quick background of us….
“Marina, was raised and be with us since she was young. As for Kent, he was taken care by CW’s mom since he was 2 months old. We ask CW’s mom for help and she came down to Singapore to help us look after Kent during the day time. At night, we will bring him back to be with us everyday until he was 3 years old where we send him to pre-school. Since beginning of this year, CW’s mom went back to Malaysia and Kent is with us full time. That’s why Kent is very closed to CW’s mom and retain that special relationship”
Kent, before leaving the house to his granny’s place, asked me to be with him. He wanted us (CW and myself) to be with him in granny’s place to play with him. I did not pay much attention on his appeal and told him that I need to ferry Marina from Sunday school and violin class. We will pick him up around noon time and depart for a excursion to Malaysia for lunch and shopping. We felt that he should be alright with his granny and they will have a good time after a few months of separation.
We pick him up at around noon and we all (including CW’s mom and siblings) left for Malaysia for our lunch and shopping as planned.
On the way, Kent begin to mis-behalf. Well, it’s one of those day where Kent have forgotten all his manner, (we though to ourselves) so, we mere show some “authority” and “sweet-talk” Kent will be alright.
During our lunch, Kent begin to move around and not sitting still on his chair which, we had educated him much that all must not leave their seat unless they have finished their meal. We felt that Granny is in town and he wanted to be with her and of course, with Granny and Granpa around, they will pamper him and he can get away with it.
We did not want to put CW’s parent in difficult situation as they have not seen their grand child for a while especially Kent, they first grandson. So, we had deliberately to be slightly more lenient . When we finshed our meal and heading for our cars, he struggled off our holding and just running towards our car in the open field. Despite, we shouted for his name and wanted him to stand still, he would just ignore. Luckily, the open field did not have any traffic and our car was very near to the restaurant. When I strictly remark that it’s a danger act, Kent just answer back that there is no traffic.
We headed for Tesco after that. In Tesco, they have thoughtfully build a small trolley for children. Kent and Marina wanted to have one of their own; unfortunately, though, we gotten the last few, because Kent fell down and in a hurry, one of other children “stolen” one of our trolley and left with only one. Marina was very thoughtful to let Kent have hers. Kent happily push his trolley and begin shopping with us.
Kent was unlike our last visit 2 weeks back nor like our usual weekend marketing at NTUC. Instead, he would not listen and stay at our side, he just push the trolley to any place which he deemed interested and running wild. I managed to got hold of him once where he run 100m away with his mini-trolley to other side of the huge Tesco. I reprimanded him and shouted at him which this is the first time I did it in the public!
He begin to play tandem and sit on the floor. Each time, I scolded him, he would rebuke back and purposely refused to admit his mistake. He went to the extend that he would not want to talk to me and want to look for his Granny. He cried for a while, hoping his complaint to CW could get him a hug and protect him from this evil daddy. CW was also upset and refused to talk to him nor given him any comfort.
Today, Kent was totally different kid which we had tried to bring up and educated. We felt that maybe,Granny is in town and he just leverage on them, thinking that we will not do anything to him. I used to beat him if he is not well-behalf, but have not lay a hand on him since March POV which I had made a commitment and also believing that Love is a better way of education.
Kent was challenging our authority and did not keep quiet even if I am scolding and put him in the “naughty corner” He just continue making some noise and also answer back any question that we asked in a rude tone. I have to shout at him at his face to shut him off. I was totally at my top and he really does drive me mad.
CW did not agreed with my manner, but I told her, we had tried both “sweet-talk” and “authority” and Kent, today, mere ignore us. I gotten a cane in my hand and walked straight up to Kent. I know normally, he will break down, but this time, i know that he controlled his tear and did not cry.
Many thoughts ran through my mind and what should I do to this fellow! I begin, trying to understand what is in the mind of Kent…here are some of our Q&A:
Q1: “Kent, whey didn’t you listen to us today….”
A1: “because I want to make you angry…”
Q2: “Why do you want to make us angry?”
A2: “Because I don’t want you to be happy…”
Q3: “Why don’t you want us to be happy?”
A3: “Because, you make me cry!”
Q4: “But, i did not make you cry, unless you are not listening to us first and papa have to scold you…Can you don’t make us angry, so that papa will not scold you and make you cry?”
A4: “OK”
… such similar type of conversation went for a few good 10mins until I found the “real reason”
Q5: “today, papa did not make you cry in the afternoon right…then why did you not listening and want to make us angry…”
A5: “because you did not come to popo (granny) house to be with me…”
Q6: “But papa need to fetch Marina back from Sunday school and then bring her to Violin class, right? Then, papa said papa will meet you later and fetch you right…?”
A6: “But I want you to be with me and play with me at popo’s house…”
Q7: “Were you angry with papa and mama, because we did not go with you to popo’s house and you purposely make us angry?”
A7: “Yes”
I was shock and the answer does blow me off! I have ignore his feeling this morning resulting him to feel that we do not love him. So, he “revenge” and want to get our attention.
I assured him that we love him and will not want him to leave us. I was even shock to hear that he want to pack his pillow and stay with Granny because our house are boring. I have to hug him and “sincere-sweet-talk” with him. I realisd I cannot treat his special fellow like a normal 3 years kid. He seems to know things that was beyond him and he had outgrown his peer!
So, initially, I want to bring him to KL at end of Aug, as I’m going up to M&Y. I thought it would be a fabulous idea for Kent to stay with his granny over weekend where I will be going for course, on top, he will get to take his favorite double-decker coach!! Out of respect, I brought out this plan and asked if he would like to come along. I reminded him that it will only be him and me and during the weekend, he will only be with Granny. I told him that it’s not because papa and mama did not want to love him, but we just thought that he may enjoy his stay with Granny and we can take coach together. We told him, if he do not want to go, he will stay home. His answer, “NO”
Kent, I am sorry that I overlook your feeling and treated you like a kid. I should respect your feeling and I promise I will not do it again!
Papa love you always!
Remember, we have our secret “Knuckle - Five” way of Man-to-man agreement!
She was so excited, jumping up and down cheering for her successful enrollment. This is really a good experience to see a child cheering and showing her joyful feeling. She has always wanted to be enrolled into CHIJ - Nativity Primary School. Her best friend, Eva, together with her another best friend sister, Erica, are all in the same school.