郑氏郑家郑重成长录

CW’s mom is in town.

Last night, CW brought Kent to mom’s place and I was told that Kent miss Mom so much and CW have tough time to bring him back home. So, we decided to bring Kent to Mom’s place early in the morning before we went for our excursion.

Well, for those reader who do know us well enough, in quick background of us….

“Marina, was raised and be with us since she was young. As for Kent, he was taken care by CW’s mom since he was 2 months old. We ask CW’s mom for help and she came down to Singapore to help us look after Kent during the day time. At night, we will bring him back to be with us everyday until he was 3 years old where we send him to pre-school. Since beginning of this year, CW’s mom went back to Malaysia and Kent is with us full time. That’s why Kent is very closed to CW’s mom and retain that special relationship”

Kent, before leaving the house to his granny’s place, asked me to be with him. He wanted us (CW and myself) to be with him in granny’s place to play with him. I did not pay much attention on his appeal and told him that I need to ferry Marina from Sunday school and violin class. We will pick him up around noon time and depart for a excursion to Malaysia for lunch and shopping. We felt that he should be alright with his granny and they will have a good time after a few months of separation.

We pick him up at around noon and we all (including CW’s mom and siblings) left for Malaysia for our lunch and shopping as planned.

On the way, Kent begin to mis-behalf. Well, it’s one of those day where Kent have forgotten all his manner, (we though to ourselves) so, we mere show some “authority” and “sweet-talk” Kent will be alright.

During our lunch, Kent begin to move around and not sitting still on his chair which, we had educated him much that all must not leave their seat unless they have finished their meal. We felt that Granny is in town and he wanted to be with her and of course, with Granny and Granpa around, they will pamper him and he can get away with it.

We did not want to put CW’s parent in difficult situation as they have not seen their grand child for a while especially Kent, they first grandson. So, we had deliberately to be slightly more lenient . When we finshed our meal and heading for our cars, he struggled off our holding and just running towards our car in the open field. Despite, we shouted for his name and wanted him to stand still, he would just ignore. Luckily, the open field did not have any traffic and our car was very near to the restaurant. When I strictly remark that it’s a danger act, Kent just answer back that there is no traffic.

We headed for Tesco after that. In Tesco, they have thoughtfully build a small trolley for children. Kent and Marina wanted to have one of their own; unfortunately, though, we gotten the last few, because Kent fell down and in a hurry, one of other children “stolen” one of our trolley and left with only one. Marina was very thoughtful to let Kent have hers. Kent happily push his trolley and begin shopping with us.

Kent was unlike our last visit 2 weeks back nor like our usual weekend marketing at NTUC. Instead, he would not listen and stay at our side, he just push the trolley to any place which he deemed interested and running wild. I managed to got hold of him once where he run 100m away with his mini-trolley to other side of the huge Tesco. I reprimanded him and shouted at him which this is the first time I did it in the public!

He begin to play tandem and sit on the floor. Each time, I scolded him, he would rebuke back and purposely refused to admit his mistake. He went to the extend that he would not want to talk to me and want to look for his Granny. He cried for a while, hoping his complaint to CW could get him a hug and protect him from this evil daddy. CW was also upset and refused to talk to him nor given him any comfort.

Today, Kent was totally different kid which we had tried to bring up and educated. We felt that maybe,Granny is in town and he just leverage on them, thinking that we will not do anything to him. I used to beat him if he is not well-behalf, but have not lay a hand on him since March POV which I had made a commitment and also believing that Love is a better way of education.

Kent was challenging our authority and did not keep quiet even if I am scolding and put him in the “naughty corner” He just continue making some noise and also answer back any question that we asked in a rude tone. I have to shout at him at his face to shut him off. I was totally at my top and he really does drive me mad.

CW did not agreed with my manner, but I told her, we had tried both “sweet-talk” and “authority” and Kent, today, mere ignore us. I gotten a cane in my hand and walked straight up to Kent. I know normally, he will break down, but this time, i know that he controlled his tear and did not cry.

Many thoughts ran through my mind and what should I do to this fellow! I begin, trying to understand what is in the mind of Kent…here are some of our Q&A:

Q1: “Kent, whey didn’t you listen to us today….”

A1: “because I want to make you angry…”

Q2: “Why do you want to make us angry?”

A2: “Because I don’t want you to be happy…”

Q3: “Why don’t you want us to be happy?”

A3: “Because, you make me cry!”

Q4: “But, i did not make you cry, unless you are not listening to us first and papa have to scold you…Can you don’t make us angry, so that papa will not scold you and make you cry?”

A4: “OK”

… such similar type of conversation went for a few good 10mins until I found the “real reason”

Q5: “today, papa did not make you cry in the afternoon right…then why did you not listening and want to make us angry…”

A5: “because you did not come to popo (granny) house to be with me…”

Q6: “But papa need to fetch Marina back from Sunday school and then bring her to Violin class, right? Then, papa said papa will meet you later and fetch you right…?”

A6: “But I want you to be with me and play with me at popo’s house…”

Q7: “Were you angry with papa and mama, because we did not go with you to popo’s house and you purposely make us angry?”

A7: “Yes”

I was shock and the answer does blow me off! I have ignore his feeling this morning resulting him to feel that we do not love him. So, he “revenge” and want to get our attention.

I assured him that we love him and will not want him to leave us. I was even shock to hear that he want to pack his pillow and stay with Granny because our house are boring. I have to hug him and “sincere-sweet-talk” with him. I realisd I cannot treat his special fellow like a normal 3 years kid. He seems to know things that was beyond him and he had outgrown his peer!

So, initially, I want to bring him to KL at end of Aug, as I’m going up to M&Y. I thought it would be a fabulous idea for Kent to stay with his granny over weekend where I will be going for course, on top, he will get to take his favorite double-decker coach!! Out of respect, I brought out this plan and asked if he would like to come along. I reminded him that it will only be him and me and during the weekend, he will only be with Granny. I told him that it’s not because papa and mama did not want to love him, but we just thought that he may enjoy his stay with Granny and we can take coach together. We told him, if he do not want to go, he will stay home. His answer, “NO”

Kent, I am sorry that I overlook your feeling and treated you like a kid. I should respect your feeling and I promise I will not do it again!

Papa love you always!

Remember, we have our secret “Knuckle - Five” way of Man-to-man agreement!

Got Kent’s and Mairna’s video online into Youtube.

Just need to search for keywords “bird288″ and should be able to find them.

Here in I enclosed 2 of the clips: (more…)

While doing spring cleaning, of course, our both kids were having fun with all these “rubbish” they found as treasure.

Suddenly, Kent came in and say, look…I’m Father Henry!

Father Henry is our parish preist and I’m most surprise to hear him impersonating him. We had never done role playing with him as he is only 3 years old and it was always my silent wish that I offer him to be God’s people.

If Kent really become a priest, it is indeed a early sign and I gladly praise GOD for his grace to shower Kent’s with such good blessing.

Let’s see in 20 years time will he become a good priest.  Just a little secret, I used to think that I want to be one myself, but my calling is to procreate.  So, Kent, if it is GOD will, do be a GOOD Priest!

Love,

Dad.

This is Kent’s first project from school.  It is a binocular making from 2 toilet roll cone and tapes taping them together.  He was excited as this is his first art and craft made all by himself.  he had send this from Marina last year, he would use a long cone and pretend it to be a telescope or a violin bow.  he will proudly show off his violin skill when he use the toy guitar as violin and the long cone as bow.

Now, I see the huge progress of Kent.  He is able to utter and reasoning, of course,arguing on some of his rights too.  Though he is only 3 years old, well, foreseen a tough teenage crisis with the parent, that’s me in coming years.

Anyway, love you, Kent, if you are reading this in future and I’m proud of you too, this is your first project!

Inspired by “Super Nanny”, we had came up with a similar chart for Marina and Kent. This was one of my Resolution this year that I will do something different, be more proactive, and build a better relationship with my kids.
This was an long awaited item I promised to do for my kids since last year. Marina wanted a castle with flowers and for Kent, I designed it as he still do not know what he want;so I do it according to my own feel.

We wanted to do this as a way to educate and encourage our child, especially Kent. Kent do not listen nor act despite we used both soft/hard technique. He is pretty stubborn and will cry and throw tandem to get what he wants. I and CW hope to use this chart to monitor his behavior and encourage his well-discipline.

When they reach the 10 good deeds, that is the castle for Marina and the Sun for Kent, they will be entitled a surprise. So, our most talk about is the “Surprise!” We will hint to them if they do not behalf well, they will not get their “surprise” earlier.

So, Marina & Kent…Gan Batte ne!

It’s not easy to get Kent out of the bed in the morning.

Firstly, he slept late. He refused to sleep the previous night and wanted CW to carry him. Seems like he did not really enjoy himself in school at all.

Then, when putting him into his new uniform, he dislike the color and refused to put on. After putting on, he complain about the label on his shirt and wanted to take it off. In no choice, we cut away the label and get him pacified.

When we send him down, he did not want to get on the bus as he have the impression that mom will be with him like the day before. Marina came back telling us that he actually cried all his way to school.

We have been preparing Kent for his first day to school since last December. However, he is not very keen and in fact, anxiety! He would cling to CW and refused to let go. However, there are other event that happened on the first day of school.

The school bus, in fact, did not come and Marina was so disappointed as she was looking forward to her school. (Well she is weird as she is the only child I heard that cried during holiday due to boredom and miss school)
We called the new driver a few time, and waited for about 30min before another bus came to pick them up. CW went into the bus with Kent and Marina and I drove to the school after that.

We expressed our unhappiness to Ms Irean (The Principal) as we were not the only child that was miss out, actually, the driver miss more than half of the childrens. So I was worry that will they miss Marina and Kent when school dismiss. Anyway, Ms Irean assured us that she saw the drivers had a few dry-run before the school start and she will feedback to the company.

Kent saw us in school (because we also need to buy his uniform) and kept coming to us. So, we need to direct him back to the class and sneak out of the school (more…)